Summer’s hem

I am chasing summer’s hem.

Slept too long and opened my eyes to

a flash of a heel, flowers on cotton swirling

stray receipts nudged by a warm breath of air

husky laugh attenuating in the hall.

I have slept under these lukewarm waters for

hours and lifetimes

skin puckered

fighting to lift my eyelids

to another dream of weight and lethargy

fighting to reach the surface.

Sitting on the speaker stacks

watching you dance

pretending I am content

sitting on the couch watching

you kiss your lovers

smiling as if

this is all I want.

Sitting, always sitting

my ass my passport to

a land of safety and

plausible contentment

of deniable longing.

God grant me the dread

to flee from my inertia

give me the foolishness

not to know when I have reached apogee

give me the ache in my bones

the itch in my jaw

the fire under my toes.

I was so scared to be young once

That I grew old with the waiting

I grew weighty with my belonging.

But I am moving now

Lurching, skidding on sharp-pointed expectations

I remember what it was to run when I was 9

And the grass whispered “fly!”

I am chasing summer’s hem

But I will not catch her

I will race faster

laugh louder

and when I pass her

I will grin back

and shout

“faster”

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