She’s not wrong

Me: Why did you order this, again?
Her: because I thought it would be nice for our guests not to sleep on the floor.
Me: I don’t understand.
Her: No, because you were basically raised in a barn.

Man walking

This amused me. It also reminded me, somewhat obliquely, of something that happened a few years ago. I was visiting LA on business, and took the opportunity to hang out with my uncle who lives there. He took me on a lightning night-time tour of some of the Hollywood landmarks… Sunset Blvd, that one Chinese theater, etc.

At one point we got out to walk around. My uncle had been telling me about how different the west coast demeanor is from the East, how people are so much more friendly and open on the street. As if to prove his point, as we are walking along the sidewalk this Seth Green look-alike suddenly makes a beeline for for me, his arms spread wide open to give me a random street hug.

Naturally, being from Pennsylvania I shied away like a spooked horse. I may have also hissed and made vampire-warding hand motions. I wanted to yell “I’M REALLY SORRY! IT’S JUST THAT I’M FROM THE EAST COAST!”