I was afraid of that

I think I should point out that my last two posts, the one regarding codependence and the other regarding dominance, have absolutely no relation to each other, in my mind at least. You can draw connections if you like, but they came back to back only because they’ve both been on my queue of things to write about for awhile (the codependence one much longer than the other) and I was in a writing mood. So I was just trying to bang out entries while the mood lasted.

I can see where there could be connections between the two, and perhaps it’s subconscious synchronicity that I wrote them both at the same time. Frankly though, I don’t see much in common between my dom side and the “monster”. There are completely different feelings and thought patterns associated with them. The dom side is associated with feelings of caring and careful attention as much as with self fulfillment. The feelings associated with the “monster” are just ugly immediate self-gratification. Perhaps my sensitivity is essential to both, but beyond that I don’t see much of a connection. There’s a difference between ferretting out what someone needs in order to reach a certain mental place, and finding the right buttons to push to get what I want out of them.

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  1. as you wish

    for me, the strongest link is that in both you express a deep fear of taking pleasure from harming someone. however, you are you and if you say theres no link, i’ll avoid making comments in that vein.

    1. Re: as you wish

      If you see connections don’t hesitate to point them out… I don’t, but I could very well be wrong.

      1. Re: as you wish

        The only other connection i see right now is a practical one someone else already pointed out (though my initial impression is they were referring more to pro domming which is a quite different area from what I was addressing), if you DO end up pursuing this in any seriousness, the monsters radar can be used to help guide yourself. You would essentially let the monster help tell you when you may be going to far, or what thing to ease up on or avoid. let him find the weaknesses, then smack him down and let the caring part of you react to the information the monster found.

        I do think the first thing I mentioned is worth reflection. I don’t think its a temporal association – I remarked on your entries about attractiveness with a question about “are you afraid of how you might act or change if you did feel fully secure”. it seems like the idea of will i still be a good person if… gets exposed, strengthened, pursued does come up in these weightier posts. if you think thats inaccurate, let me know.

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