So out of a mixture of boredom and curiosity I read a bit more about the “cuddle party” thing, including this amusing Nerve article. It does seem a bit odd to plan a cuddle party in advance, with somebody running it and rules and protocol and suchlike. Cuddling seems like the sort of thing that has to happen naturally if it happens at all. On the other hand, if it gets people to let down their barriers…
One thing they have right: people, adults especially, don’t get enough cuddles in this society. I know, I know, some of you don’t care to be touched by anyone but your SO, if even them, and that’s fine. But I for one have racked up years worth of cuddle deficit. Thankfully I have avivahg now. I haven’t had a good people-pile in ages though. Call me crazy, but I love the feeling of being surrounded by love and affection, playing with someone’s hair while someone else plays with mine, feeling human warmth to either side… it’s nice. I admit it, I’m a cuddle slut, albeit a repressed one. It’s not about sensuality, either, although there’s nothing wrong with affection which leads to more intimate activities. It’s about connection. It’s about being someone who perceives and shows love through touch. Babies waste away if they aren’t touched enough, and I think some of us never completely grow out of that.
I want to have more friends that feel comfortable being physically affectionate with me. People are altogether too weird about cuddles, although I can understand why. It’s all too easy for people to get the wrong message. For me, affection is a gift given and received, appreciated but with no expectations or strings attached, but as some friends have lamented to me, that’s not how everyone sees it. For fear of coming across the wrong way, I’m a lot more standoffish than I’d like to be about affection.
So for the record, I’m a cuddle slut, outward appearances to the contrary. Rather than leave people guessing about what I’m comfortable with, I’ll just be upfront about it. I’m nearly always game for hugs, backrubs, playing with hair, handholding, and cuddling in general. I may still be too shy to make the first move in most cases, but I’ll gladly accept and reciprocate physical affection. I won’t be weirded out, or derive false assumptions from it, or try to push boundaries. Just FYI.