Missing the point, exhibit A

Twice during different sessions my therapist has asked me if if I find myself attracted to other women. Both times I’ve answered honestly in the negative. Yet it seems to me that recently he made passing reference to addressing my issues with attraction to other women in a future session.

Now, it seems to me that if I can go a alone to a club, after two days of horrendous arguments with my wife, and sit and watch a dance floor full of writhing goth chicks (and goth bois, for that matter), and serenely contemplate the benefits of a monastic life, that perhaps, just perhaps, a wandering eye is not the greatest of my problems…?

Sily pshrinks and their preconceived pcategories.

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  1. I’m sorry to sound like a jerk, but you DID recently say that you do use/watch/buy porn. Perhaps the shrink is referring to that….

    1. Since we’ve never discussed that, I rather doubt it…

      1. Yes, but you’ve also never mentioned being attracted to other women and he’s bringing it up.
        The point is that shrinks don’t just hear what you say. A really good one can read into what you say, how you say it, etc.

        1. and they can hear what you don’t want to say…i always hated that.

          1. …I remain unconvinced. Other women is the last thing on my mind right now… and putting it together with some other things he’s said, I just get the impression he’s got me slotted into some pseudo-middle-age-crisis, married-early-and-inexperienced-and-now-wants-to-spread-sow-some-wild-oats mental category.

          2. then tell him that.

          3. …his therapist also suggests as a response to a major depressive on a serious downswing where one is unable to keep one safe, “Have a nice trip,” because, of course, it’s no one else’s responsibility to keep safe but the depressive.

            And, of course, the waves can turn themselves and keep from hitting shoreline and doing major damage. But they don’t. Those waves, the ocean and all of that, must really have it in for us humans, eh? Spiteful Mother Nature! (Will be writing something along the lines of this allegory later, I hope.)

          4. Well…

            Think for yourself. Why would you go from days of bad marital arguments to a dance club where, you don’t dance, but rather watch other women.
            Just because you weren’t turned on by it or interested in looking at them doesn’t mean there isn’t some reason why you went THERE of all places.

          5. Re: Well…

            You make a lot of assumptions.

            I was at the club because that’s what we do, when possible, on weekends (which generally works out to maybe once a month). Dancing is, if not necessary, at least very important to my happiness, because it serves as a catharsis. Seeing my friends is a lesser but still important motivator. And we hadn’t made it out to a club, as planned, the night before.
            I was sitting because I was exhausted from a long session of dancing, and I was taking a break.
            I was watching women because my eyes were open and I didn’t happen to be facing a wall at the time (although I did that for awhile, too, and it was equally rewarding).

            The fact that you say “…THERE of all places…” indicates to me that you’ve never been to a goth club, or at least not one like those in Baltimore. People don’t go to get laid; if they wanted that they’d go to one of the booty clubs with “house” music where people do those grindy dances. People go to goth clubs to socialize and to dance.

            The question, to me, seems to be: why did you choose to fill in the blanks the way you did?

          6. Re: Well…

            LOL Well, you’re the one that brought the girls at the club up as being more than simply atmospheric.

            I’m simply playing devil’s advocate. You couldn’t figure out why the shrink is saying such and such and I’m taking stabs at why he/she is saying such things. You seem confused by what he’s saying, so I’m throwing out suggestions…

            Bleck. Whatever. I’m actually jealous of you. I could really use a shrink myself right now.

          7. Re: Well…

            heh… want mine?

          8. Re: Well…

            Yeah. Funny.

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