I would take the rest of the day off – I wouldn’t feel too guilty about a half a day – but where would I go?  What would I do?  I can’t take myself shopping, one of my favorite pick-me-ups.  If I met up with a friend I don’t think I’d be able to keep my mind on them and off my troubles.  And the weather’s kinda crappy for a relaxing walk in the woods.

It’s been so long since I played guitar my fingers have gone soft.  My camera sits on a shelf, unused.  I haven’t written a piece of software for my own edification since… I can’t remember.  I haven’t made fancy coffee in ages.  I can’t remember how to cook.  I don’t have the coffee house I used to help run, or a religious group, or any other charitable activity…

It’s times like these that I become accutely aware of the fact that I have lost every outlet I once had.

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14 Comments

  1. Time for change.

  2. Reinvest your time in those outlets. Seriously. Take 30 minutes a day to carve out some time. Make those 30 minutes your time with your guitar, or to tromp around somewhere woodsy with your camera. Or work in the yard. Or just meditate. Something.

    1. *nod* you have always said a good outdoor walk helps you.

  3. Do something. Just pick something and do it. Maybe not outdoors, now is not the outdoors sort of time.

  4. You could practice your hebrew song singing.

  5. It’s times like these that I become accutely aware of the fact that I have lost every outlet I once had.

    So find them again. Only you can decide what and when you do something.

    To quote Wonderfalls, “Get off your ass.” 😉

  6. I think your half day involves grabbing some film and strumming a guitar sipping the java.

    I dunno why I thought of that 😛

  7. take up some form or art or something, perhaps computer based like flash. just a thought. find a keyboard and reason 2.5 and learn to compose music?

  8. Awwz… hugs.

    How can you forget how to cook? Doesn’t that, like, come back to you as you do it or something?

    I’d suggest putting on some of your favorite music that makes you happy and sing along to it. If you put it on in the car, you can crank it way up and sing at the top of your lungs.

    Singing upbeat music always makes me feel better.

    (Psst! Try the Beatles or other moldie oldies, if ya like ’em.)

    1. There seem to be two kinds of people when it comes to music… people who can use music to modify their moods, and people who’s music must complement their pre-existing mood.

      I fall into the latter category. If I play something that doesn’t go with the mood I’m in, it usually just grates on my nerves. e.g. I adore TMBG, but if I popped them in while I was depressed I’d get annoyed pretty quickly.

      It’s a nice thought, though…

      1. Just some thoughts…

        I actually seem to be both. The music I’m listening to needs to compliment my existing mood, but I can use it to purge the mood from me, or to express that mood and to be able to then listen to songs to modify my mood.

        The trick with modifying mood via music if you’re more the latter is escalation.

        Music is good in that it’s not just broad moods… specific songs have very specific nuances. If you can slowly grade your music up from matching your mood into a mood closer to what you’d like to be, that might work.

        Also, I’ve found that with myself, if I listen to music to express a certain mood, that sometimes I can purge that mood from me. Verve – Bittersweet Symphony seems to be that song for me. I can use it to get out the crap in my soul.

  9. if you need some motivation, you can write me some software that allows me to keep track of my clients and their interests in some sort of searchable data base…… *grin*

    1. OK…

      I will make no garauntees, as I’m notorious for abandoning projects, but give me a list of fields and maybe I’ll use it as an excuse to learn a new language or library…

  10. Hmm… my dear go to the library and pick up A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin. Fascinating, reallie.

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