I have a FISH for you. It is a very large and delicious FISH. It took me many years to learn the skills to catch such a FISH.
I know you said several times that you needed chocolate, and that you have plenty of fish, but this FISH is what I have for you right now. It is a symbol of how much I care for you as a friend. If you won’t accept my FISH, it must mean you don’t value my friendship.
Yes, the FISH is slimy and it’s scales may cut you. But I promise you it is worth it. I know you think chocolate is all you need; but trust me: you need this FISH. I wish someone had given me a FISH such as this when I was in your position.
You can’t expect people to give you exactly what you want all the time. If you really didn’t want this FISH, you shouldn’t have told all your friends about your craving for chocolate. You can’t reasonably expect all of us to have the chocolate you want. Everyone has something different to offer, and I am offering you a lovely FISH. You should be more grateful for the things you are freely given. Someday you may want nothing more than FISH, and what will you do then?
In conclusion, take this FISH as a token of my love and affection for you. Someday you will thank me.
Note: this is not a parody of anyone reading this, nor does it refer to any of my personal friendships. It is merely an observation on human relations, inspired by comments in someone else’s journal.