I used to live in dreams. The world was wide open in those days, and a thousand glorious futures spread out before me. Oh, the romance I used to foresee; the triumphs, the friendships, the exotic destinations.
The future always seems so much more pedestrian up close. Ordinary and faded and banal. Which is to be expected; dreams, like movies, are necessarily idealized.
Have you ever had a dream that was not only fulfilled, but which exceeded your imagination of it? Have you ever had an experience that felt more wonderful, more fated and magical in it’s fruition than it ever did in your mind?
My first kiss was pretty stellar.
Having this baby is pretty awesome.
The first time I tried my BDSM fantasies in real life was fucking amazing.
All of those things are better in manifestation than they were in my mind.
Do you know, I can’t remember my first kiss? How pathetic is that??
I remember the occasion, the girl, and in a general sense all the making-out sessions that followed it; but not the kiss itself.
Does that mean I fail at life?
I am a dreamer…
I am my dreams, and my dreams are me…
That said, I’ve had some dreams exceeded. And some get pretty darn close. And a great many remain unavailable.
Sounds like you need to come up and visit and split this beer with me I have lying around. š
When would be good to drop in? I may be in York Saturday afternoon.
Well, we’re away at the christian goth gathering in North Carolina this weekend. Perhaps next weekend or during the week.
My dreams were never that grand…
…or detailed for that matter… While I might imagine various fantastic things.. they never were more than that.. fantasies that I didn’t think had anything to do with reality…
In any case.. of those things I have really wanted to achieve in life… my hopes, per se… all of these have always been better in reality..
My first love…
My first time having sex…
Everytime I go to a waterpark…
My life partner…
All of these things have always been far more fantastic in reality than I had ever thought they would be…
As usual… this is prolly not at all what you mean… but this won’t be the first time that my life experiences/perceptions/mental frameworks have been so totally different than yours… š
Re: My dreams were never that grand…
No, it sounds like you’ve got the idea… and I’m happy for you. I wish I could say the same for all the things you listed.
Alhtough now that you mention it, I do usually have a better time at amusement parks than I expect to. If only because all I think about beforehand is the inconvenience and logistics of driving a couple hours and sheparding the family around. Maybe that’s the secret: expect misery, and I’ll always be pleasantly surprised š
Re: My dreams were never that grand…
That’s what Jason says he does, but he still get’s upset when thinks don’t turn out well.
You know…
they actually have a name for that… it’s called “defensive pessimism” and a long time ago I read an article about it that claimed that people who had that mindset overall tended to get depressed a lot less…. and generally seemed to get along well…
I, personally, have always been this way… I learned early on–from experiences with my X-chromosome donator–that expectations of good things from the world around you were like balloons in a world of porcupines….
Of course, my response was basically decide that I would have to do everything myself and become so independent that even if I decided to do things with others.. I did not necessarily depend on them…
This has given me a life where I’m rarely disappointed.. but where I do, I’ll admit, have a hard time letting go of stuff and trusting others…
In any case.. one thing that is also important.. is that just because I don’t have many expectations of others–doesn’t mean that I think lowly of them.. I just view them as part of an overall world that really doesn’t put much worth into me in specific and thus I have to fight to prove myself in it…
How Nietzschesque of me.. I know… š
Being married is better than I though it’s be but I never had a a very good view of marriage either.
Hooray for low expectations!