I, Moron

A couple of people have commented to me that I never talk about any really embarrassing events in my life.  Hopefully this post will go a little way towards rectifying that situation.

In the past 7 days the following events occurred:

  1. I left my debit card in an ATM machine.  This would not be the first time I have done this.
  2. I tried to fix a slow leak in one of my tires using sealant.  I had done this before on the Subaru.  I figured it would be no big deal on the Mazda.  I jacked the car up, deflated the tire, pulled out the valve stem, and squeezed a little sealant into it.  And then I couldn’t squeeze any more.  It was blocked.  And no matter what I tried, I couldn’t unblock it.
  3. I decided to take the wheel to a tire shop and have them look at it.  That’s when I discovered that a) the wheels had locking lug nuts; and b) the lug nut key was nowhere to be found.
  4. I angrily called my dealer, who told me to call Mazda’s roadside assistance.  The tow truck arrived, and took my car away to the nearest dealer.
  5. This morning I talked to the service department that worked on my car.  They informed me of two facts:
    1. My wheel valves have tire pressure gauges, which I had badly clogged by trying to introduce sealant.
    2. The lug nut key was in the glove compartment.

I am convinced there is a special circle of Stupid reserved for smart people, a realm of surpassing boneheadedness that we sail blithely into, secure in the knowledge of our own infallibility.

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  1. lol! just remember,the higher the IQ, the lower the common sense sometimes. ah i have had days like that. *hug*

  2. Haha, ouch. I love modern cars’ technology, but I sure do hate the complexity.

  3. I hate those tire pressure transponders

    Wait until the car is 3 or 4 years old and they start failing and your car is constantly beeping at you to have them fixed. They are not cheap as you have found out…

    Just one more unneeded complexity that will make modern cars into junk in less than half of a decade.

    All those little things add up to make keeping a car over 5 or 6 years old too expensive to repair and cheaper to just junk. But talk about the waste…

  4. An old friend’s parents were honest-to-goodness rocket scientists, they worked on propulsion systems for NASA.

    Neither one of them could run a vacuum cleaner without breaking it.

    I think there is definitely something to the theory.

    1. I actually hate this theory. It’s a way for dumber people to attempt to assert some kind of compensatory superiority. “You may be brilliant, but everyone knows that smart people have no common sense!”

      To which I reply. “You’re absolutely right, because commons sense is, well, COMMON.”

      Of course, the really dumb ones don’t understand that that word has more than one meaning, and that one of them is derogatory.

  5. you should have just told your friend that you NEVER do anything embarrassing. To late for that now though, lol.

  6. The lug nut key thing though reminds me of this way I have of say making some super complicated and creative method of say arranging my shelves to make something fit, only to have someone else come along and turn the item sideways and it fits in the original space I had.

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