Never change who you are, and other BS

Raise your hand if you’ve ever seen a meme about “never changing who you are” or something similar.

Bullshit. Change yourself. If you don’t, the world will.

You are not a special snowflake. You are not perfect just the way you are.

People will tell you that some people just aren’t made to... Those people are trying to make themselves feel better.

Life doesn’t care about what you “aren’t made to…”. Unexpectedly-single parents have to learn how to be business-savvy. Refugees have to become survivalists and shrewd traders. Citizens of repressive regimes learn to be consummate actors and conceal their feelings. Even in posh Western society, people still find themselves suddenly having to learn to be caregivers all the fucking time. Read stories of people caught in extraordinary circumstances, and you see the same thing repeated over and over again: they are amazed at what they found themselves capable of.

I’m just not creative. I’m just not technical. I’m just not cut out for business. I’m just not kid-friendly. I’m just not social. I’m just not organized. I’m just not romantic. I’m just not athletic. I’m just not competitive. I’m just not the sensitive type. I’m just not…

Bullshit. You will be whatever circumstances demand for you to be. If you are very, very lucky, you can also be what you choose to be for some portion of your life.

You did not come out of the womb stamped with a template of the fully-formed person you were meant to be. You are a bundle of potentials. You are not painting a human by numbers. You are building the edifice of your life. The blueprints are your choices. The timbers are your actions.

The grain of the wood you are building with might be unique to you, but the materials you and others have to work with are more alike than they are different.

Likewise, stop looking for meme-approved friends who will just “accept you for who you are”.

I expect a lot of friends. I expect them to kick ass and be awesome. I expect them to exceed themselves. I expect them to expose hidden depths and surprise everyone. I expect them to constantly enlarge their perspectives. I expect them to put their own psyches under the knife and excise the cancers they find there. I expect them to grow. And I expect them to hold me to the same standard.

If you aren’t growing, you are rotting. Friends don’t let friends rot.

You are not a weird bird. Nature created you because she was tired of running the world on instinct and genetic templates. She made you to be adaptable and self-modifying instead. Don’t let her down.