Down with lawns

In 2008, Joe Prudente—a retiree in Florida whose lawn, despite several re-soddings and waterings and weedings, contained some unsightly brown patches—was jailed for “failing to properly maintain his lawn to community standards.” Earlier this year, Rick Yoes, a resident of Grand Prairie, Texas, also spent time behind bars—for the crime, in this case, of the ownership of an overgrown yard. Gerry Suttle, a woman in her mid-70s, recently had a warrant issued for her arrest—she had failed to mow the grass on a lot she owned across the street from her house—until four boys living in her Texas neighborhood heard of her plight in a news report, came over, and mowed the thing themselves.

Source: The American Lawn: A Eulogy – The Atlantic

One of the selling points of our new house here in the foothills is its almost complete lack of lawn. Lawns are pointless, time-sucking, over-politicized environmental disaster areas. I’m hopeful I’ll live to see the day when they are looked down on as relics of a dumber age—like lead paint and gelatin cuisine.