OK, I know my journal is confusing. I’ve been posting “Notes from the Crucible” sort of weekly, but as I note in each post those are actually from a period I went through last fall. It’s over now. I’m just spreading out posting them because that made more sense to me than dumping them all at once.
On the other hand, I’ve been posting more recent stuff about depression, starting with this.
I feel compelled to clarify, if only for my own obsession with order: this is new. This is different.
Someday I’ll talk about it more freely. For now: a crucible is about temporarily having to accomplish more with less. It’s about life asking you to put forth more than you think you’re capable of.
This thing now… This is about being emotionally gut-shot. It’s less about increasing output, and more about daily trying to remember if any of it is worth it at all.
I don’t know if there’s any way anyone can help, other than the usual (that being: tell your friends if you like my products, so I can at least spend less time worrying about affording family healthcare). I’m doing all I can to take care of myself, including seeking therapy. Beyond that… send angels.