avivahg

You see, you see what can’t be seen
You repair the damage done to me.
When I get home from work, she is there.

Every day. Every day.

When the evil in the human heart stains everything I see and hear with red, threatening to flood that pristine room at the center of me… she is there.

Though friendships wax and wane, and loves fade into distance and memory… she is there.

I rise up rampant at the dawn and then fall, Icarus-like, unto the sea – but she is still there.

If I could, I would stretch my heart out to encompass every precious one I love, until I am bled dry – but only knowing that she is there to receive me when I am exhausted.

Someday I may come to fall in love with another, or others… but when that initial flush fades, and paths diverge – she will still be there beside me, just as I have been for her.

I will stumble in at midnight, manic and shaking from the third week in a row of 12-hour days, too keyed-up to sleep, too far gone ro remember what’s the point – and candles will be burning on the windowsills, and dinner will be in the microwave, and she will be warm beside me when I finally surrender my cold body to fitful sleep.

Ten years from now I will be someone I would not recognize today – and she will be there.

I will conjure up castles in the sky and she will smile and tell my I’m not insane.

She learns me like a favorite book.

She is an extension of myself when I welcome her, and gives me space when I need to be alone.

She knows my perverted dreams… and loves me all the more.

When a smile reaches her eyes the sun comes out from behind the clouds.

A kite needs tension to fly, and her grounding lets me soar.

You run your fingers through my hair
And tell me it´s worthwhile, it´s all worthwhile

Even when I hate myself
Even when I feel your pain
when you cry
Even when my heart is cold
You assure me it´s worthwhile, it´s all worthwhile
– Apoptygma Berzerk, “Unicorn”