Rough weekend so far. Today I’m just kind of enenthused and unmotivated. Strife in my own life, strife among my friends, strife (thankfully fairly civil) on my journal. What’s the word for the feeling you get when you’re not happy but don’t want to get away because you don’t believe there’s anywhere better, either? Anger, misunderstandings, and disconnection are with us wherever we humans gather, and they follow us in our minds wherever we go to be alone. Perhaps I should seek “no-mind”. I wouldn’t know how to begin though.
I’m not really depressed, just… blah. Ya know?
The trouble with not posessing an addictive personality is that there are no appealing vices promising solace when I am down. When I’m not happy nothing appeals to me, except maybe a walk in the woods. Booze? Blah. Sex? Blah. Video games? Blah. Porn? Blah. Movies? Well, you get the picture.