Activists protested technology with a scary-sounding name in front of an Eddie Bauer store recently. “I’m not sure what it is” said dreadlocked activist Sunflower Joy Pretzel, “but it’s new, and new things are bad”. Environmentalists, concerned because they knew a guy who read a book about intelligent pudding taking over the earth, have been trying to raise awareness of nanotechnology and the possible dangers it poses. Another protester, Pat O’McReillysonnigan, a member of Teamsters Local #63, had a different concern in mind: “The unions look out for the little guy, and there’s no one littler than nanites.” “I’m not against new technology; I just want to see that microscopic robots get paid a fair day’s wage and compete on equal terms with other hard-working Americans”.
The Eddie Bauer company could not be reached for comment; but a corporate spokesdroid for NeoSysDyneMicroWareSynerWorldInterCo/JC Penny Inc. had this to say: “Our products have been thoroughly tested on a variety of endangered species with no ill effects. We are confidant that your assimilation into the collective will be painless, and will leave you with a clean, fresh feeling which will last all day under normal conditions.”
You know, they have a point. I bought a pair of Dockers with the stain-resistant coating, and they totally itched. Someone should definitely look into that.