Five Years

It would be unseemly for me to let this day pass without writing about our anniversary.

Five years ago today Stacey and I drove to the courthouse in Towson, MD and were married by a bored functionary in a tiny matrimonial closet. I don’t recall being particularly nervous.

Five years.

As anyone reading my journal this week might have surmised, I’m not in the appropriate state of mind to write anything mushy and sweet about this occasion. It would be insincere if I did. Which is not to say that I am unhappy about it or with Stacey; only that I am depressed in general and unable to summon up any squishy romantic feelings to draw upon.

So what to say?

Well, I shouldn’t let the occasion pass without a big “Fuck You” to anyone and everyone who thought our marriage was ill-considered and DOOOOOMED. I doubt anyone reading this falls into that category, but I’m sure there were those who thought so at the time.

And I guess it’s traditional to offer some encouragement to those less blessed in love. Five years doesn’t seem like all that long a time, but I’ve watched numerous relationships come and go in that time. You wanna know the secret to making a relationship last?

Lean in real close now…

Are you ready?

Don’t break up.

It worked for me, it can work for you.

Five years.

Five years in which I have changed, in some ways, more than I would ever have imagined; and in other ways have stayed frozen in time. Five years ago I was a passionate Christian/Messianic Jew; now I’m agnostic. Five years ago I was working at StodgeCo and thinking about going back to school; today I’m still working at StodgeCo and thinking about going back to school.

It hasn’t been easy, and I don’t know if I’ve learned the lessons that hardship is supposed to teach. I don’t think I’ve learned to be an adequate stepfather yet. I’m less romantic than when I started. A better communicator? Maybe a smidge.

I’ll tell you one thing though:

It’s been five years since I was lonely.

Here’s to the next five.

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  1. “Don’t break up.” Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? It’s true though. Marriage is work, but worth it. Don’t give up, stick together, make it work.

    Here’s to your five, and hoping you have many many more… I am working on 17, and I slant some of my good marriage mojo towards the tow of you…


  2. Five years you say hmmm Best wishes to both of you. Seems you guys got married at the same spot I did lol weird huh?

  3. Sylphae

    Sorry…I have a stalker on my blog who probably went and found you through it. Do NOT adore the information, although I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that.

    He’s really cute, isn’t he?

    And congratulations on your anniversary and brightest blessings for more years of companionship and growth.

  4. Congrats on making it to five years. It is never easy and always takes work. This October would have been me and David’s 7th wedding anniversary. *cry*

  5. Good job! Congratulations 🙂

    I’m starting that journey pretty soon myself and I’m hella nervous about it.

  6. Congratulations! I’ve been married for sixteen years. Everybody thought my marriage was doomed. Three things that make a marriage work: communication, compassion and respect. Three things that will kill it: disrespect, selfishness, and being a dumb ass. I know that last one is rather vague, but sometimes, that’s the only thing to call it.

  7. Congratulations to the both of you. Mike and I have changed a lot too, grown apart and back together again and didn’t give up. Thankfully learning and growing individually brought us into a much more fulfilling relationship over time. 🙂

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