Last night I went to my work’s holiday party, and then to greymaiden‘s for poker night. It was the first time I’d ever played, and I got my butt kicked, but it was fun all the same. I left early though. I had been on a downswing emotionally since before I arrived, and I hit the point that I couldn’t deal with people any more. I went home and got drunk and watched South Park with my mom. A full night of sleep and a tramp through snowy woods has put me in better spirits.
It’s funny, how long it took me to really internalize that melancholy isn’t something you can fix with the right therapy or the right person. It’s just part of who I am, the inalienable shadow-side of my soul. I still forget sometimes.
Tonight: drinking and gaming all night. W00t!