I’m still slowly but surely working my way through your requests.

greymaiden asked me what I thought my flaws were. I’ll try to answer honestly.

I lack drive and ambition. This may not seem like a flaw, necessarily, but it is the reason that 99% of my dreams remain just that – dreams. Most of the interesting events and activities which I have been a part of have been on someone else’s initiative. I don’t mind being a supporting actor in someone else’s project, I’ll pour my heart into something if I’m asked and it catches my interest; but left to my own devices I rarely initiate anything. I’m more of a thinker than a doer. I read voraciously, and I come up with lots of cool ideas for projects, but I hardly ever turn those projects into a reality. On the rare occasion when I actually do start a project, I usually get bogged down and lose interest quickly.

I procrastinate. I tend to fear taking any significan action, and I put it off and distract myself until the last minute – at which point I typically feel so bad for having procrastinated for so long and so overwhelemed by whatever it is I have to do, that half the time I just want to say “to hell with it”.

In general, I don’t take action unless forced to. I’ll go on, living my life day in and day out doing nothing remarkable unless a) I run across something which interests me which involves minimal effort; or b) something arises which forces unavoidable change. In that case I’ll do what needs to be done and then go back to normality as quickly as possible.

I am complacent in my relationships. Most of the people who have gotten close to me have been intensely interested in me, and the relationship has progressed primarily on their momentum, rather than mine. As a result of being spoiled in this way, I tend not to return the interest which is lavished upon me, or, if I do, I only do so at the beginning of the relationship. Offhand I can’t think of anyone I got to know well as a result of my pursuing them.

I can be pretty uptight and grouchy when I feel I’m in a position of responsibility.

I also don’t deal well with other’s expectations. I get reflexively contrary when I feel that certain things are expected of me.

I guilt-trip.

I give people the silent treatment when I’m angry.

I could go on and on, but that’ll do for now…

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