Someone on my friends list posted on the subject of polygamy, and the poisonously misogynistic arguments some heavily religious people use to justify it. One of the reasons was that since “men are naturally driven to cheat”, polygamy gives them a healthy outlet for the urge.
Which got me thinking about something that often bugs me. Why do people cheat? No, really, why? I know the scientific theories (spreading genes as widely as possible), and the relationship-guru reasons (partners not having their needs met turn elsewhere); but I just fundamentally don’t get it. I’ve been with avivahg for almost five years now. There have been times when I’ve been unsatisfied with her, times when I wanted to leave her, even. But I’ve never once been remotely tempted to cheat on her. If I ever (god forbid) became so enamored of another woman that I felt I just had to have her, and I wasn’t able to negotiate an agreeable arrangement with avivahg, then I’d have to make a choice. And I think I know what choice I would make, because a promise is a promise. But regardless, I wouldn’t go skulking around behind her back. Why would anyone want to bring that much guilt and complication and deceipt and conflict into their lives? What could possibly be worth it – especially when there are more straightforward alternatives?
I guess the problem is I just don’t get the mindset which sees someone else, someone new, as the solution to all one’s problems.
I don’t mean to guilt anyone reading this who has been unfaithful. Actually, if you ever have, I’d be interested in your reasons. Maybe it would help me understand better.
On a mostly unrelated topic – I’m amused by how whenever polyamory or any related subject comes up in conversation, there are people who go to lengths to point out they have never, ever seen a polyamorous relationship work out, and that all the people they’ve known who were involved in such relationships were selfish, immature, and weak. Funny how much of a hot-button that particular alternative lifestyle is, even for people that would probably defend, say, gay marriage with vigor.