Enjoy the Silence

I realized last night that I am still partially conditioned to feel uncomfortable and at fault when conversation peters out in a social context. I still feel compelled to offer up lame attempts at conversation-starters to fill the empty air, so as not to bore my companion(s). I myself have never had trouble with being quiet in the company of friends; but I schooled myself to consider such behaviour to be unnacceptably antisocial. These remnants of an attempt to cover up my undersocialized youth with a crude simulation of what “social people” appear to do rarely serves any useful purpose. I think it’s time I mindfully put an end to the habit. There is no reason that two people can’t share a comfortable, companionable silence. I need to learn to be confident speaking only when I genuinely have something to say.

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  1. I think there is somthing to be said

    For a little truth table analysis of the situation. If both are happy with quiet, sure. If one wants quiet, it’s a toss-up. And if both have to talk, then let them.
    I most acutely feel your point on the phone, particularly with relatives. Plenty of times I’m talking to mom, but there isn’t much to say, and the conversation staggers and dies.

    1. Re: I think there is somthing to be said

      and when I’m on the phone with my mom she does all the talking, even if I have something to say. The entire conversation is about her, and only her. If she asks how I’m doing, it’s only as a segue to introduce some other thing she’s doing with her life.

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