This came up in an IM conversation, and I thought it might be useful knowledge to my circle of friends and aquaintances:
In conversation, I only push back (i.e. argue) when a) I respect the person I’m arguing with; b) I care about the subject matter; and c) their point of view interests me. Otherwise I don’t waste the energy. Don’t back off when I push back. If I don’t want to talk about it, or I consider the subject closed, I’ll tell you.
More generally, I never adopt new points of view or venture into new territory without first testing it. If I’m being critical of something on LJ, don’t be too surprised if I’m advocating it a few months down the road. I can only progress once I’ve satisfied my questions and concerns.
Pushing back against someone you don’t respect may possibly give them pause for thought if they aren’t used to it, which could also potentially cause character development that would lead to them being the sort of person you would want to interact with.
Also, sometimes it’s fun.
I have on occasion pushed back against people I felt had potential for growing into respect-worthy individuals.
hmm i thought this was obvious about you from about the third time we interacted on LJ, and long before we ever met in person. then again, i usually only expend energy in heated discussion under similar circumstances, so i probably had a head start so to speak.
i do on occasion give in to true sniping, but it is rare and my amusement with it fades remarkably fast into boredom and apathy.