Just because I feel the need to justify to the world my desire to punch something right now…
My ailing grandfather is going in to surgery today, my LATE project here at work is completely depending on me to fix it, my wife is depressed about her job and unsupportive, one of my best friends is suicidal, and I’m late for a meeting to get (metaphorically) yelled at for holding up the project.
Just for the record.
Sorry, what? “Unsupportive”? Are you looking to pick a fight?
If you consider my being irate at your place of business because they want to berate you for being late on a project because they set unrealistic deadlines, then okay. I suppose you can call me “unsupportive” for that reason. Because it is accurate to say that I am unsupportive of [name of your place of business] for beating you down for something that is ultimately not your fault.
Otherwise, I’ve been nothing but supportive of you and your efforts to “get the job done right.” I have dealt admirably well with your very late working hours. I have not badgered you when you come home, nor while you’re at work, for being there for so long. After you were ill and warned me that you would be working a lot of overtime I didn’t argue, I didn’t cry and make you feel guilty. I said, “Okay, I understand.” I have had your dinner ready for whenever you came in at night – whether I was awake or not you had a dinner dish made up and waiting for you.
If you want to call that unsupportive, then we have a bone to pick.
On the first part, you are partly correct. I’m not depressed about my job. I’m pissed off about my job. Daily, and deeply, pissed off. Looking very much forward to the day when I can give them the proverbial finger and not look back.
I’m sorry. I posted in anger. When I talked to you on the phone the last thing I needed was to be harangued about not standing up for myself. There is only one way I could stand up for myself in the way you want: I could quit. There is not a damn thing I could say that would make one bit of difference in the schedule of this project, or of any project in the future. This is just how this business works. There is always risk (of schedules slipping due to unforseen problems), and inevitably you sometimes come up with a bad roll of the dice. This happens to be one of those rolls. So anything I said to defend myself would be understood, and even sympathized with, but it would only succeed in cultivating even more stress on the team.
I agree that in all those other ways, you have been quite supportive, and I appreciate that.
I could just as easily say that you have been unsupportive of me. I called you today because I knew you could deal with the situation at hand far better than I particularly given the state I was in. Never you mind trying to discuss that aspect publicly. There’s a whole background there that deals with things/people that need not be stated publicly.
The very last thing I needed was to feel blown off by a comparison of issues. (“You think you have it bad? Well, I’m about to be chewed out for…”)
I’m doing my best to deal with both my own and your support issues. Give me some credit, will you?
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