So I’ve been posting about restlessness the past couple of days, and I thought I should probably give that some context.
First of all I am OK. There has been no point over the last few days that I have not been OK. Also Stacey and I are OK. Our relationship is stronger than ever and I have never been happier to have her at my side.
Just in case anyone was worried.
Periodic restlessness is a part of who I am. I’ve felt it for as long as I can remember. From time to time, especially in the summer, particularly at night, I get the strong urge to get up and go. To take a long drive and hang out with a new friend or an old friend I haven’t seen for awhile; or go to a party; or have some adventure. To stay up all night on coffee and nerves and watch the sun rise.
In the past these urges have often been coupled and amplified by dissatisfaction with my life situation. This is no longer the case. I am deliriously happy with my wife, my family, our plans, and our dreams. I spend most of my free time at home not just out of obligation or inertia but out a of a genuine desire to be with my family.
But I still get restless from time to time, and I’ve come to see this as a part of me. And I know better than to try to suppress something that comes from deep within. So, I’ve chosen to indulge the urge, responsibly, when possible.
Of course, indulging restlessness can be easier said than done. Sometimes the stars just don’t seem to line up right. At Stacey’s urging I went out to an all-night diner Saturday night rather than spend another night moping at home. This turned out to be an incredibly depressing expedition, but it was probably good for me that I took the step anyway. Sunday I hung out all afternoon with greymaiden which helped a great deal.
If nothing else this past weekend has shown me I still need to work on building up my network of local night-owl friends. Which I guess means I need to start meeting more college students and musicians. I’ve been meaning ti get back into the local music scene anyway, so this is just another prod in that direction.