I’m not doing well. Those of you who read sagaloo‘s journal know that the birth was not without it’s tense moments. Without getting into details, I’ll just say that it took a lot out of me, emotionally, and I haven’t really had a chance since to talk about or process those feelings.
Now Stacey is sick. It’s nothing life-threatening, or even terribly unusual, but she’s effectively helpless again after a week and a half of steady recovery.
I have a sick wife and a newborn to care for, two older children who also need attention and reassurance, a house full of animals to keep from becoming a total wreck, overdue bills to pay, and a job to hold down. A job that by its nature that I have to be mentally focused in order to do. “Focused” is the opposite of the state I find myself in.
Also, it’s trivial in the grand scheme, but I had my heart set on returning to the Black Rock Burn this year. That’s not going to be happening.
I think it’s safe to say that I’m as close as I’ve ever been to breaking.
Prayers and positive energy would be much appreciated. More concrete help is even more strongly coveted. I don’t feel like I’m falling apart; I feel like I’ve fallen apart and am held together with duct tape and baling twine.