I know a solitude that cannot be breached
Castaway and drifting out
You will not reach me
It’s the same as it always was
Surrounded and alone
You cannot catch me
Say that you understand perfectly
But they all know you and
Will never see me
The distance is swallowing your words
Your hand on my knee
Will never touch me
Maybe I should stop going out for awhile. I’m not dealing well with this. I feel the past rushing up at me. Always watching, never connecting, always falling into corners like small change between couch cushions. And there’s nothing you can do because you couldn’t touch me if you tried. I know a loneliness that has no key.
I knew a love once that never retreated, now banished in the cold light of reason. But even then I was alone. You will stop and stare and try and fail and hesitate and move on. You are always slipping from me like dreams upon waking. And I have no dreams of union left to cling to.
I notice that whenever I’m in a gathering, if I’m there long enough, I end up in a room alone, or outside, or in a corner alone.
I always feel lonely, yet I keep on seperating myself from everyone. My insecurities always seem to get the best of me.
I think it’s sometimes hard to get to know me.
since my brain and body were disconnecting tonight and i didn’t give it to u in person…*BIGUBERGIANORMOUSHUGS*
“I know a loneliness that has no key.”
You have the key.
I, too, have experienced a loneliness so profound that I just thought, “If someone would sleep in the same room with me, maybe I would feel okay”; but when they were there, I would lay awake long after they had fallen asleep.
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